I believe it was Einstein who once said: “The only thing that is constant in the universe is change”.
The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life and also the difference between emotional and logical decisions. The remarkable thing is that when we are faced with situations that do not work for us that enables a certain change, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that. Naturally, we cannot change anything that is inevitable but we can always continue to move on and forward.
It was early spring in Stockholm 2013, when I decided to sell my business. I decided to work with my art, contribute to charity, to travel to new places, to volunteer and to work with less fortunate children. Many people have asked me why I chose to go to Nepal and Costa Rica. To me, the answer is short and simple. I just knew I had to. Silly or inexplicable as it may seem to some, that is the only reply I can give. I did know that I wanted to go through an organisation to find Projects to work with, partially to stay safe without knowing anything about anything so to speak and partially to try, learn and understand “how it works” in order to find other Projects. It was and is also to visit and see which place I would want to come back to and continue my work in. But apart from all of that, I just knew that it was Nepal and Costa Rica.
2 months down the road of my Costa Rica journey I have decided to leave Costa Rica on April 1st instead of June 1st (this is also the date that renewal of my visa requires me to leave the country; and re-enter if I so will). I knew the moment I got here – that what the children need at this time – is not me. Not now anyway, the time is not right. I had to think about this carefully and have been trying to understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling – to be absolutely sure and clear of that the feeling of not “feeling needed” actually did not have to do with me, myself and my own eventual preferences of “being needed”. While I was all emotional in my reasoning, I said to myself that I could not leave earlier – I need and want to follow through on what I had decided upon, prior to my arrival in Costa Rica. And of course, I wanted to give it some time. Nevertheless, as days and weeks passed my logical assessment made me decide to leave earlier.
Residencia de Vida is an orphanage founded by Cherie and she is now taking care of 6 children: Emanuel, Naidelyn, Jacsel, Priscilla, Esmeralda and Natalia. They are truly loved, not only by Cherie but also by her family, friends and other missionary families, amongst many foremostly Jill and her family who are truly dedicated to Residencia de Vida. Cherie works very hard to provide for the children + that many people around the world have been generous with donations. The children are now in the system and have recently started to go to school. There is such a good chance for these kids to be able to grow up educated, loved and well-mannered. Residencia de Vida needs structure and some more time, a new home and money for rent and food. These are things that I, emotionally, want to run in and help with ASAP, yet, this time, it is not for me to do. Cherie and I have talked about this and I am grateful for her understanding in regard to my decision. Furthermore, many of the children have been exposed to different levels of neglect and abuse so what I would like is for the children to receive therapy on a regular basis. Unfortunately, there are no funds for this but to help their lives come full circle, I will do my best to make it happen in some way. More about that will be updated here later under Residencia de Vida.
My remaining time in Costa Rica is passing by very fast and I need to be present in the moment remembering that even though you enable your choice of making a change in the midst of everything, who said it was easy? You keep moving forward because when focusing on the positive – fulfillment, joy, learning and manifestation of my goals and dreams I am reminded once again that it is all about living in the moment and giving your best, but also to be where you should be. Today was an emotional day due to various reasons but I know that one of the reasons is because I have been through many, many, many changes just this past year and the decisions made this past week causes emotions to circulate in its attempts to find peace. I realised that I need to leave a place which I enjoy very much and even though good-bye is only for now it is always challenging to embrace change, especially when it comes unexpected and fast. In my world, it kind of sweeps you off your feet, puts you out of balance in spite of the excitement and uncertainties that are waiting.
Colombia will be my next destination where I will be working with 130 children, more information about this project will be updated after Costa Rica. Costa Rica has been and is a very important part of this journey and will always be a place where I can go back to but it is not meant for me to stay longer for now. I understand why I felt I had to come to Costa Rica and though my stay will be brief, I do know and believe that when we are called upon to stay somewhere for a while, that it is a stepping stone to where we are meant to be next.